md: wait for pending superblock updates before switching to read-only

If a superblock update is pending, wait for it to complete before
letting md_set_readonly() switch to readonly.
Otherwise we might lose important information about a device having
failed.

For external arrays, waiting for superblock updates can wait on
user-space, so in that case, just return an error.

Reported-and-tested-by: Shaohua Li <shli@fb.com>
Signed-off-by: NeilBrown <neilb@suse.com>